Tuesday, February 21, 2006

These are the days of our lives

I should be at work today, but I'm using the fact that my car is making a very disconcerting noise to convince myself (and my boss) that I really should work from home today. I can be productive at home, I swear. Really. ... It's just that the tv is so tempting. And there are so many good things to read on the internet. Oh, and the bed, the bed looks so warm and inviting. Oh, let's face facts. The day is a wash. I guess I might as well go crawl into bed and watch some tv.

See, this is why I shouldn't be allowed to work from home. EVER.

I've been feeling very dissatisfied with my life lately. Not so much the generality of my existence - I'm pretty happy being me - but the feeling that I've done almost nothing of significance with my life so far. I'm still living in Michigan. I got a college degree that is practically useless. I have a job that I like, but that doesn't have any real stability to it. I'm not any closer to being married than I was back in high-school. In fact, the only real things that I have now that I didn't have in high-school are a dog and a mortgage payment.

I look at friends who have moved away or who are doing these amazing internships is places like Brazil and San Diego, and I wonder what is wrong with me that I am still here in the same place I was in when I graduated from high-school. Why did I not study abroad in Europe for a semester in college? Why didn't I spend a summer in some fun place like Martha's Vineyard or New York City, when money didn't matter and I had no real commitments? I had all these opportunities to get out and see the world and I never took any of them.

I go back and forth between wanting to just sell my house and join the peace corp, to thinking that it's too late and I'm too old to sacrifice everything and just go.

I am in such a funk right now.


Dana Nico said...

when you are in a funk it's best to binge drink.

Carolynne said...


Dana Nico said...

please update this shit. thanks.