Dear friendly people of Costco.com,
Are you trying to drive me crazy? Why do you ship something so quickly out of your warehouse, only to have it take almost a week to get to my house? I know my mother always told me that I had a problem with delaying gratification, so maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's the pretty new camera that I ordered - the manufacturer convinced me that I just couldn't live without it, that if I didn't order it RIGHT NOW my hair might fall out and my dog would die and I would never again be able to experience joy. Either way, it doesn't matter. You, people of Costco.com, are the ones who are holding my magnificent digital camera hostage - A.K.A. the key to my entire future's happiness. So please be so kind as to deliver it to my house, without further delay. I'm kind of fond of my hair. And my dog, for that matter. Hurry, for their sake if not for my own.
Online Shopper #6152949